Imposter Syndrome and New Items

VLOG:

8 Affirmations for Impostor Syndrome and New Shop Items

Announcements:

There are new items in the Gallery Shop! I know some of y’all have been waiting for the moment when there was an alternative to purchasing my original art. That day is here!

You will find journals, canvases, and soon you will find other items like tote bags, phone cases, etc which all have my art on them in the Gifts section of the Gallery Shop. The printed canvases are a much more affordable option to purchasing the original pieces!

Is there something you’d like to see in there? Let me know! I’d be happy to create it. Is there a certain piece of art you want on an item? Let me know!

Imposter Syndrome: It’s the pits!

 

What is Imposter Syndrome?

The answer I got from Google Dictionary reads like this:

the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills. 

Have you ever experienced imposter syndrome? It can be very subtle.  In order to find out if you have it, you may need to try a strategy outlined in The Artist’s Way, a book I can highly recommend as long as you are doctrinally sound. Here’s the strategy:

Simply sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and write the following sentence: “I [fill in your name] am a brilliant and prolific [fill in what you are or want to be. Writer? Painter? Engineer? Teacher?] Write it ten times.

But notice what you are hearing in your head and heart. Chances are, you will hear all kinds of little blurts like “You can’t say that!” “Who do you think you are?” “Who said you are?” 

Hateful, ugly comments.

That’s imposter syndrome. 

Do you often have the thought that if people only knew more about you they wouldn’t like you? Or if your boss saw how you accomplished that project you’d get in trouble? What thoughts do you have when you think of yourself as an artist? Oh, yeah…I bet that brought the blurts out! “I’m not an artist. I can’t even draw a straight line! Artists are people who can draw, and I can’t draw even a stick man.”

There was probably an unending flood of those types of comments coming from your mind.

That’s imposter syndrome.

 

What imposter syndrome looks like for me

My imposter syndrome has been in high gear this week!  It started with a really good underpainting I produced. It looked awesome and I was so excited about  developing it.

But when I did, it only got worse. This is actually pretty normal. It happens to all artists, everywhere, all the time. But when it happens to me, my blurts start to speak very loudly in my head.

I hated what I’d done so much that I began erasing it: as in, literally washing it off. I was so excited then to discover that the surface preparation I had done on my paper allowed me to COMPLETELY WASH IT OFF, down to the white of the paper! So excited that I created a tutorial video about it, posted it, and then shared it with other pastellists.

Only to be told that someone else had already discovered that technique in the first comment on my post. Now that isn’t really a big deal, but my mind took it to heart, and reminded me of what an idiot I am, and how I don’t think before I make decisions, and that I’m so naïve to think that I discovered something.

I tried to shrug it off and move on. And then I started painting again, but it just wasn’t working. More ugly blurts exploded…”you probably have lost it. You’ll never paint another good painting again.” “What if you can’t ever paint again?” “What if you were kidding yourself all the time about being an artist?” “That’s why no one is buying your art. It’s really not all that great.”

 

I spent the afternoon taking a long nap. (It helped.)

 

How to Deal with it

 

How can we fight this nasty habit? There are a couple of ways. First, we need to remember who we really are in Christ and why we might be struggling. Of course, this only applies to those who are in Christ, so if you are not a believer in that way, only some of these things will apply to you.

 

• We are made in the image of God. That’s the very reason we can create! Our creativity is a reflection of God’s creativity. This is true of all humans, not just Christ-followers.
• We don’t have to prove anything to God for Him to love us. His relationship with us is not dependant on our performance. Thank God, because I would be a lost cause, for sure!
• As believers, we live, and move, and have our being in Christ. Which means that we can do all that God enables us to do. Therefore, if He has ordained that there shall be a painting of pink flowers from my hand, nothing can stop a pink painting of flowers being created by my hand.
• God also ordains and orchestrates our struggles for our best good and His glory. Therefore we can trust that those struggles are there to help us be made more like Christ.

Chances are, I needed a little more humility in my actions this week. It has been a good opportunity to practice humility, at any rate!

In addition, there are some helpful affirmations which I have adopted that can encourage me when I’m feeling the bite of imposter syndrome. I found them (and then tweaked them) in The Artist’s Way book, and I’ll be going over them in the Vlog this week. Hop over there and see if any of it is helpful to you.

I also created a pdf poster, suitable for printing, of the affirmations which you can download by clicking on the image below.

 

This Week in the Studio

 

This week has mostly been about getting the Print On Demand aspect of the Gallery Shop up and running. Can I just say it is had its moments? Put it down mostly to having a very unreliable internet connection where I live. There are just no real options for good internet here.

I am an extreme amateur in website building and maintaining. I’m determined to learn, though! I broke the site for a day or so before I figured out the mistake I had made and how to fix it. Thank God for the WordPress help Facebook page.

I’ve also been attempting to paint, but as stated above, it’s been a struggle. But here’s the thing: I’ve been at this artist thing long enough that, if I take the time to think about it, I know without a doubt that whether I see it or not, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a rollercoaster, but what goes down will climb up if I keep going.

 

So will you join me as I persist in looking for the music, listening for the colors, and awakening the wonder and worship in my heart?

 

I hope so.

 

Godspeed.